Cont. July 5, 2012 My Hospital Stay...

My overnight stay had now turned into a 5 day stay at St. Lucie Medical. My minor surgery had now turned into a complicated procedure. My quick healing now turned timely, and most of all my pain was extreme. Since my small procedure now had turned into an exploratory procedure, My insides were shifted, tugged on, moved and just all together disturbed. I have never in my life felt a pain like this. The incision didn't bother me, It was my insides not being in the correct places after everything. I was put on Demerol. Though I was pregnant and narcotic's are not suggested at this point we had no choice. After the harsh procedure there's no way to not be on anything. The pain was killing me, I couldn't use the restroom, but the nurse had taken my catheter out too soon, It was not to be removed for 2 days, She removed it immediately after surgery. This left us with screams of terror, long days, and sleepless nights.

As soon as the numbness went away, the pain was unbearable. I have a high pain tolerance, but I just couldn't take this. I had Deeco call everyone that was waiting to visit me and cancel. I was no where in the right state for anyone to see me. I did have a few close friends and family come, often they would have to leave the room due to my pain and visits of new news from the doctors.

My first night was a nightmare. Without having the catheter we had no choice but to pick me up and place me on a bedside toilet. Deeco and my mother still say they can hear my gut screams and cry. It was a pain that will forever haunt me. My mother stayed every night past visiting hours and Deeco slept in a chair next to my bed for the entire 5 days. He's an amazing man, never has left my side, and never missed one of my 100's of doctors appointments. My parent's and sister also were more help than I could imagine. My mom stayed all day everyday. She would give me sponge bath, powder me and put new clothes on me. From laying in the bed in one position because I couldn't move, I was getting rashes and blisters on the backside of my body. My mom kept powder on me and really kept me comfortable. My dad took me would pick me up to use the bedside toilet, wiped me at 25 and always made sure my belly was full. Mind you just a couple weeks before he had lost his father a couple floors up from now where his daughter layed. My heart hurt seeing him there, I knew he was hurting inside. 

My nurse on the first night was very good with me, She stayed on top of my medicine because of the pain I was in. The Demerol was injected thru my IV in slow increments because of the high dosage. I'll never forget that feeling, as I was given the medicine I would have to be wiped with cold rags, I would instantly heat up and start getting dizzy. I was always sick after, so I would have to follow up with nausea medicine. It's the only thing that helped me get rest. 

Meanwhile through all this, the little miracle growing inside me weighed heavy on my chest. Was the baby going to be okay? Will the baby make it after all of this? It just wasn't fair.

The day after my surgery a guy came into my room with a stretcher. He had told us that I was going to go downstairs for an MRI. We were caught off guard. I had no way of getting up, I was still in crucial pain, my insides were not where they needed to be yet. They waited for my next dosage of medicine before they attempted to move me. Everyone worked together and got me as painless onto the stretcher as possible. I couldn't control my screams and cries every time I was moved for that, a bath, or to use the restroom. It was a pain I could never explain. As we got downstairs, Deeco stood next to my stretcher in front of the MRI room. I had never seen an MRI machine and didn't even know what did it at that time. All of a sudden we heard LOUD noises, Deeco looked at me and instantly started crying. He told the nurse he didn't want me to do it anymore, that I had been through enough and he didn't want me to be moved again or go in that machine. She calmed him down and explained we had to do this. 

I went into the MRI room clueless. All of a sudden the beast of a woman pulled the sheet beneath me and literally I was slung onto the MRI table. I SCREAMED bloody murder, I felt like she just ripped my insides out. Deeco could hear my screams from outside the room but had no way of getting in. I said everything in the book you probably shouldn't say and her response was something along the lines of "Oh my gosh, I didn't know you were in pain or cut open, I wouldn't of done it that way".  Long story short after the nurse almost killed me before we could figure out what it was, I DO NOT like MRI machines. I started panicking and was two seconds from pushing the stop button. That's just an uneasy feeling! 

Later on the doctor came in with results. He had asked my visitors at the time to leave the room. Deeco and my Mother stayed. He had told us that he now had found  it  located in my sacrum. It was a tumor, Stage Four. Instead of perturbing it was inside. Everyone just cried, We asked so many questions but his answers were along that line that, he hadn't been to bed yet, and he had called around and done research as much as he could. There was no information on what the MRI was showing. It was extremely rare. He warned us that I had to be seen at a specialty hospital. For how serve this turned out no where around here could help me. He had sent a referral and set up an appointment for me to see a "High Risk" OBGYN. Now it was a waiting game, no answer's until my appointment scheduled with him on July 31st, 2012.

So, my over night stay now turned into 5 horrible days. I could NEVER explain the pain of this surgery. The final day, my doctor had came in to check my incision before I was discharged. Deeco jumped up so he could see with the doctor. First I remember Deeco taking this picture. Bandage is always bigger than the incision right?

As the doctor was taking off the bandage, Deeco's face was an expression I had never seen in all of this. I couldn't move to see below, all I could do was feed off of Deeco's expressions. As the last bit came off Deeco shouted " What did you do to her?" Instantly I knew something else was wrong, I couldn't get anything out. Frantically he was throwing his hands up, saying "You said only three to four inches, whats going?", Why did you do this to her? I was now so nervous. Doctor frantically explained when they didn't see a cyst on my ovaries they had to open me up further to get as far back as they could to see what was going on and where the mass from the ultrasound could be. Needless to say they never found it till the MRI. Meanwhile, thru all this my little miracle was truckin' along in there :)

So this is what my three to four inch incision turned into. Hip bone to hip bone, and staples galore. I was so lost for words, I just sat there. Deeco was furious but trying to calm down for my sake. This picture is very emotional for me. I haven't shared this with a lot till now. Today I wear this scar proudly, and it's a symbol of one of the stepping stones along my way. It's only one of my scars, and my biggest scar of courage/survival will be placed this year July 10th. Exactly 1 year and 5 days from this life changing event.

Leaving this hospital was great! Though I was still no where near healed, I was ready to leave. We aren't exactly fans of St. Lucie Medical Center, to say the least. Five days too long, I was LOSING my mind! :) haha

The next day was my first appointment with Dr. Stossell. I will continue the blog to share my experiences and the beginning of the most heart breaking and troubling times that were lying in my future from this day on....